I never thought of myself as the homeschool type. It simply never occurred to me. I love school. There is something so beautiful about the smell of a freshly opened box of crayons or meeting your teacher for the first time. As a parent, I trusted the teachers. I believed everyone had their place in the education of my child. The teachers were the professionals, and I was the parent. And as any parent knows, being a parent is enough on its own. So when my homeschooling friend suggested that I try it myself, I was less than enthusiastic. Still, something she said stuck with me. She said that I already was homeschooling. It took me a few years to figure out that homeschooling isn’t school. It is a lifestyle. As parents, we aren’t completely ignorant about how to teach our children. We read to them. We teach them how to talk. We teach them how to brush their teeth, how to get dressed and how to care for themselves and others. We teach them so much before they ever even step foot into a school. And then? Just like that, we are dismissed. We sit our child down in the kindergarten classroom and we turn around and walk away, leaving their care, their well-being, and their education to someone we met a couple of days ago. That is just what we do.
Oh how I missed my children. My husband worked really hard to provide for his family, and magnify his church responsibilities and we barely ever saw him. After putting my second child on the bus for his first day of school, I sat down at the bus stop and cried like a baby. I had to eat lunch all by myself. What would I do all day?
Watching my friend with her kids, while mine were at school was really hard for me. I was jealous of the time my children’s teachers had with my children. I wanted to be the one who made them smile. I wanted to see their eyes light up when they grasped a concept. I wanted to be the one to share with them the wonders of nature and the magic of a well written story. I wanted it to be me sitting with them at lunch, visiting over pb&j. And that is why I homeschool today. I homeschool because I really love the company of my children.
I didn’t start homeschooling all at once. I did a summer trial. From then on, my children were in and out of public school until the fifth grade. By then, I was confident enough in my teaching skills and pulled them out to stay. Here are some things I would suggest if you would like to give homeschool a try:
- Organize a small space for you to put school supplies. Keep this space clean and stocked for the whole summer.
- Let go of perfection. Just. Let. It. Go. You and your children will get there when you get there. Remember why you homeschool. You want your kids to be happy, right now and everyday from now. They don’t have to know everything to be happy and neither do you. Keep activities simple and practical. Don’t let the mean ol’ perfectionist in you keep you from doing an activity or get in the way of enjoying every minute you have with your children. They grow up way too fast.
- Teach the basics. You do not have to run out and buy or sign up for a curriculum right now. You are a functioning adult. You know just as well as anyone else what your child needs to know to be happy and successful. Use everyday life as a curriculum. You are cooking? Honey it is fraction time! You are studying the bible? It is reading time! What do you do every day that your child will need to know too? What reading, writing and math do you do on a daily basis that you can do with your children in a loving and comfortable way?
- Play with your children. Come fall, you might decide to homeschool your children. That would mean all day everyday. Learning to play with your children will prove to be a lifesaver on hard days. In addition, wholesome recreation builds relationships and develops important social skills.
- Create routines. Most of the children I know, do not like surprises. A gentle morning, afternoon and evening routine, will help your children to feel secure and it will be one less thing to worry about, leaving their mind open to learning new things. Don’t make the same mistake I made though. You don’t have to have every hour planned out. A lovely morning and night routine followed by a list of things you would like to get done, and of course a good meal plan is all you need. Then fill in the open spaces with the things on your list.
- Be flexible. Teaching moments can appear at any given time during the day. When a child is open to learning, you may have to stop what you are doing, read them a book, put on a documentary, or go to the library, in order to make the best of the moment. If you can be there for those special moments with bells on, you will gain your child’s love and respect as their mentor.
- Know who you are. Teacher is such a busy word. When I think of a teacher I think of rote learning. A teacher tells me what I need to know and I carefully recall it on tests. I don’t like to think of myself as my child’s teacher. I like to think of myself as my child’s coach or mentor. We learn alongside each other. Their opinion and thoughts are equally as valuable as mine. I want my child to feel comfortable coming to me with questions they have and I want to show them how to find the answers.
- Have them work along side of you. Whether it be cleaning off the table or cooking a meal, as much as possible, do it together. Put on some music and get it done. I can tell you three things:
1. It won’t get done as fast or as well as it would have, had you done it by yourself.
2. Your children will have fond memories of you every time they do the dishes even when they have grown and moved away.
3. You will sleep well at night, knowing you spent quality time with your children and taught them how to care for themselves. - Find support. I was lucky to have the support of my friend and my husband. Look around you, talk to your parents and in-laws, close friends and husband. Find out who is going to be there to support you and who will need more time. Surround yourselves with those who do. They will come in handy. I usually turn in my letter of resignation at least once a year. Homeschooling is hard for me. I enjoy my kids for certain but the pressure to do it all can be overwhelming. Luckily my husband hasn’t accepted it yet. I need people I can go to that will support me and help me through those difficult moments.
- Make a decision. Towards the end of the summer, it will be time to decide if you want to take on the responsibility of your child’s education. Think back through the summer, what worked? What didn’t? How do you feel after a summer of mindfully mentoring and loving your children?
Weigh out the pros and cons. Ultimately, decide what would bring your child the most joy, now and in the long run. Go to HSLDA (Home School Legal Defense Attorneys) at hslda.org.) Find your state and read the laws. There are also many resources on the website to help decide. Don’t worry, you don’t have to homeschool to continue these practices.
If all you do is try these things this summer, you will get to know your children a lot better and they will get to know you. Your family will become more united and happy. And you will be prepared and confident in case of another covid situation.
May God be with you as you make this decision. May you feel His love and His help as you raise your children in these difficult and amazing times. May you have His great support and the support of friends and family as you embark on this incredible journey, is my prayer for you today.
